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55 Things Narcissistic Mothers Say, Traits & How to Deal With

A narcissistic mother is characterized by self-centeredness, lack of empathy, and manipulative behavior, often prioritizing her needs over her children’s. Their statements are often abusive, self-absorbed, grandiose, controlling, manipulative, and attention-seeking. She creates a toxic family environment for her children.​1,2​

Effective responses to such behavior include setting boundaries, refusing engagement in arguments, disengaging from harmful conversations, calling out unreasonable behavior, and validating one’s feelings. The most effective strategy to resist a narc mother’s control is ceasing all communication to protect against emotional harm and manipulation.

The effects of having narcissistic parents can lead to chronic shame, depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, people-pleasing tendencies, self-criticism, emotional regulation struggles, indecisiveness, lack of trust, poor social skills, lack of boundaries, hypersensitivities, and health issues due to prolonged exposure to narcissistic abuse. Narcissistic parenting is toxic and can result in PTSD in severe cases.

narcissist mother traits looking at daughter unhappy


What is a narcissistic mother?

A narcissistic mother is a self-centered and self-absorbed mother who prioritizes her needs over her children’s. This type of mother has a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, craving admiration and constant attention. She views herself as superior and entitled to special treatment. A narcissistic mom lacks empathy and disregards her children’s needs and concerns. She assumes that her children are just an extension of her and she can control them using criticism, blame, guilt, shame, and degrading insults. 

She may misuse her role as a parent, becoming excessively controlling, possessive, and manipulative over her children. In more extreme cases, her behavior may be indicative of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), defined in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th Edition (DSM-5).​3​

narc mom surrounded by 11 signs

What are narcissistic mother traits?

In 2018, researchers at the University of Lapland in Finland conducted a study involving interviews with 13 women who were raised by narcissistic mothers. These women provided detailed accounts of their childhood experiences. The study identified 11 narcissistic mother traits commonly found in these narratives.​4​

1. Grandiosity

Grandiosity is the core characteristic of narcissism. In the world of a narc mother, everything revolves around her. She has an inflated sense of importance and fantasizes about unlimited power, superiority, uniqueness, and perfection. She is the center of the universe, and everyone exists to serve her. She doesn’t show interest or ask questions about her children’s lives unless it serves her purpose.

2. Arrogance

A narcissistic mother feels superior to others and talks to them condescendingly. She makes sure others know that and refers to her superiority frequently. She believes she is never wrong and blames others for her mistakes.

3. Attention-seeking

A narcissistic mother seeks constant admiration and attention by bragging about what she does for her children and how much she sacrifices for them to fish for compliments. She craves attention so much that even insincere flattery is not recognized.

4. Entitlement

A narcissistic mom believes she deserves preferential treatment. She is the only one who matters; everyone else is there to satisfy her needs. Her needs are always more important than others.

5. Manipulation

A narcissistic mother manipulates her children by gaslighting, shaming, blaming, dismissing, and raging to meet her needs. A narc mom may also play the victim to make you feel guilty and control you.

6. Controlling

Her way or the highway. Everything must be done the narcissistic mom’s way, or it’s wrong. She thinks only she knows what’s best. Everyone has to do precisely what she wants to meet her needs.

7. Unstable self-esteem

A narcissistic mom has fragile self-esteem. Any time you hurt it, even unknowingly, you have committed a serious crime. When her positive self-image is threatened, she reacts with intense anger.

8. Lack of empathy

While a narc mother’s feelings are important, yours are not. Although she cherishes her feelings, she does not care if she hurts someone else’s. She dismisses others’ feelings and enjoys criticizing them in the most hurtful way but expects others to empathize with her.

9. Contempt

A narcissistic mother looks down on others, constantly criticizing, belittling, and undermining them. She constantly says hurtful things to put down their children. Nothing the children do is good enough for them.

10. Envy

A narcissist is jealous of others’ success. But at the same time, they fantasize about their success and believe others envy them. To prove her superiority over others, she tends to surround herself with people who achieve less and will agree with them.

11. Intolerance

A narcissistic mom believes children are extensions of herself and disallows ideas different from hers. She belittles and dismisses anything that does not match her point of view. Any disagreement is viewed as a personal attack, and she responds with rage and aggression. She never considers others’ rights, needs, or preferences.

What are the things narcissistic mothers say?

Here are 50+ things narcissistic mothers say to show ecocentric perspectives, assert control, demand attention, and manipulate others.

  1. “I brought you to this world, and I can take you out.”
  2. “I’m the mother here. I don’t have to respect you.”
  3. “I gave up my life to give you a better one, and you do nothing for me in return.”
  4. “You are the most ungrateful child I have ever met.”
  5. “You don’t deserve everything that I have done for you.”
  6. “I put your happiness first and get this in return.”
  7. “Nobody cares what you have to say.”pa
  8. “You should try being more like your sister. She is my favorite child.”
  9. “You eat so much. Why don’t you start jogging for a change?”
  10. “I don’t understand what he sees in you.”
  11. “I’m baffled as to how he puts up with you.”
  12. “You should take a lesson from your sister because she never disappoints me.”
  13. “You don’t deserve to be happy.”
  14. “You will never amount to anything.”
  15. “You should be ashamed of yourself.”
  16. “No wonder you don’t have any friends.”
  17. “You only did this to hurt my feelings.”
  18. “I should have aborted you.”
  19. “You’re such a bad child. You should have known its impact on me when you made the decision.”
  20. “If I hadn’t been so busy raising you, I would have had a career.”
  21. “You have ruined my life.”
  22. “I can not believe I wasted my whole life on you.”
  23. “You are my biggest mistake.”
  24. “You only think about yourself.”
  25. “You are trying to embarrass me here.”
  26. “You’re so selfish. You never care about my feelings.”
  27. “Why did you do this to hurt me?”
  28. “You knew I didn’t like it, but you still did it to hurt me.”
  29. “You only think about yourself.”
  30. “You always look for attention.”
  31. “Why do you always have to make a big deal out of everything?”
  32. “It’s embarrassing to be related to you.”
  33. “Don’t you think it’s a good time to join the gym?”
  34. “Maybe you should try losing a few pounds.”
  35. “You’re so pretty, but you will look better if you lose some weight.”
  36. “You should never wear this dress; it makes you look fat.”
  37. “You are a horrible child. You never appreciate anything I’ve done for you.”
  38. “Stop crying, or I’ll give you something to cry about.”
  39. “If you ever do that, you are not my son.”
  40. “Do this now, or you’ll never do it.”
  41. “That never happened. You must have imagined it.”
  42. “It’s not that big of a deal.”
  43. “Why are you so dramatic?”
  44. “You are overreacting.”
  45. “No one will ever love you with that attitude.”
  46. “Nobody loves you, and you don’t deserve to exist.”
  47. “You have an awful personality and can never do anything right.”
  48. “Everyone agrees that you’re probably the worst person to go out with.”
  49. “You’ll be sorry for it when I’m gone.”
  50. “I wish I had a daughter who I could depend on.”
  51. “Don’t make a scene.”
  52. “Get over it.”
  53. “You’re being overly sentimental.”
  54. “I sacrificed so much for my kids.”
  55. “Look, my child got first prize. It’s all because I didn’t let him give up on piano.”
mother talking to son, 6 types things narc moms say

What are the types of things narcissistic mothers say?

The 6 types of things narcissistic mothers say are the following.

  • Abusive: Narcissistic mothers criticize, belittle, humiliate, and shame their children. She says things like, “You are worthless. No one will love you.”
  • Self-centeredness: Narcissistic mothers often make statements that focus primarily on their own needs, desires, or experiences. They say, “Why are you always thinking about yourself and not considering what I need?” 
  • Grandiosity: These statements reflect an inflated sense of self-importance or superiority. A narcissistic mother says things like, “I’m the only one who knows how to do this right.”
  • Attention-seeking: These statements seek to draw attention, sympathy, or admiration to herself. A narcissistic mother says, “Nobody appreciates all the sacrifices I make for this family.”
  • Dictatorship: A narcissistic mother is controlling. She says, “You’ll do as I say because I know what’s best for you,”
  • Manipulation: Manipulative statements are designed to influence or control others subtly. A narcissistic mother says things like, “If you loved me, you would do this for me,” using guilt or emotional leverage to persuade her children to meet her needs or wishes.
two women talk, responses to narc mom

What are the responses to a narcissistic mother?

Here are 5 types of responses to a narcissistic mother.

Boundary setting 

State what behavior you will or won’t accept from her.

  • “What you said was hurtful. I cannot tolerate this behavior.”
  • “I’m open to feedback shared respectfully.”
  • “I understand your point, but I need you to respect my decision.”


Refuse to get drawn into arguments or drama cycles with her.

  • “We see things differently. Let’s agree to disagree.”
  • “I understand this is how you feel.”
  • “I guess that’s true from your point of view.”


Choose to leave a potentially harmful or unproductive conversation.

  • “I wish you the best, but will keep my distance for now.”
  • “I need some space right now.”
  • “I’m ending this conversation now. Let’s try again when we are both calm and respectful.”

Calling her out

Call out or mirror back what the narcissistic mother says in a calm manner, making her aware of her words and unsound logic.

  • “I don’t think insulting me will resolve this.”
  • “I understand that you feel you have sacrificed a lot when you decided to have children.”
  • “Keep blaming others won’t help you get the desired results.”


Validate your own emotions and perceptions being questioned.

  • “I value your point of view, and I hope you’ll also listen to mine, too.”
  • “I hear you. But I cannot do that because my needs are just as valid as yours.”
  • “I’m sorry you regret having me. But I cannot control your regrets. I can only control myself, and I choose to move forward with my life positively.”
types of narcissism, 3 models

What are the types of narcissism?

The two types of narcissism identified as potential subtypes of NPD are overt and covert narcissism, according to a 2007 study published in the Clinical Psychology Review.​5​

Grandiose, attention-seeking, dominant behaviors, arrogance, and a sense of superiority characterize overt narcissism. Covert narcissism involves a more hidden or subtle form of narcissism, marked by sensitivity to criticism and feelings of inadequacy. The primary difference between the two lies in their expression:  overt narcissism has an external expression, while covert narcissism is inwardly defensive and insecure.

In 2017, Krizan and Herlache proposed to replace the 2-factor model with a finer 3-factor model: agentic extraversion, narcissistic neuroticism, and self-centered antagonism.​6​

Agentic extraversion is characterized by assertiveness, charm, and a tendency to seek leadership or dominance in social situations. Narcissistic neuroticism involves vulnerability, sensitivity to criticism, and fluctuating self-esteem, often leading to defensive and anxious behaviors. Self-centered antagonism includes traits such as entitlement, exploitativeness, and a lack of empathy, often manifesting in manipulative or hostile behaviors.

A 2021 review published in the Current Directions in Psychological Science supported increased research in this three-factor model.​1​

What are the types of narcissistic mothers?

According to a 2020 research published in the Journal of Clinical Cases and Reports, the two types of narcissistic mothers are disinterested and controlling.​7​

A disinterested narcissistic mother may lose interest in her child when they don’t provide constant affirmation and flattery, leading to neglect and seeking satisfaction elsewhere. 

A controlling narcissistic mother obsesses over her child, overly monitors them, and demands constant reporting, particularly regarding their academics. This type of mother often disregards boundaries, rejects the child’s independence, and manipulates or uses guilt to maintain control.

What is the difference between a narcissistic mother and a normal mother?

The main difference between a narcissistic mother and a normal mother lies primarily in their behavior patterns, emotional responses, and how they interact with their children.

Narcissistic mothers lack empathy, unable to understand their children’s needs and emotions, while normal mothers are empathetic and validate their children’s feelings. Narcissistic mothers crave constant praise but rarely offer it, unlike normal mothers who provide genuine praise and encouragement.

In terms of parenting, narcissistic mothers manipulate and control their children for self-gain, using criticism and intimidation, and view their children’s achievements as a boost to their own self-esteem. In contrast, normal mothers nurture, guide, and support their child’s independence and self-expression. Emotional support from narcissistic mothers is conditional and self-centered, while normal mothers offer unconditional support, love, and acceptance.

Communication-wise, narcissistic mothers employ criticism, guilt, and emotional blackmail, whereas normal mothers practice open, honest, and supportive communication. Narcissistic mothers impose unrealistic expectations and harshly criticize mistakes, focusing on molding their children to fit their ideals. Conversely, normal mothers respect their children’s individuality, set realistic expectations, and handle mistakes with understanding and guidance.

What is the difference between narcissistic and controlling mothers?

Narcissistic mothers and controlling mothers have some overlapping characteristics, but the main difference lies in their motivations and emotional responses.

A narcissistic mother is controlling as her self-absorbed nature leads her to try to dominate her child’s life. She controls to meet her own emotional needs for validation, attention, and idealized self-image. The child is a tool for her to prop up her ego.

In contrast, a controlling mother may not be narcissistic as she controls to enforce her expectations and vision of how the child should behave and perform. She rigidly regulates the child’s life out of a dictatorial need for order, obedience, and high standards. She is not necessarily ego-driven or lacking in empathy like the narcissist.

How do narcissistic mothers treat their children?

Narcissistic mothers treat their children as extensions of themselves, only valued insomuch as they boost the mothers’ ego. Children of narcissistic mothers, unfortunately, often suffer from emotional abuse and neglect as a result.

One child may become the so-called “golden child,” excessively idealized and praised, put on a pedestal to reflect the mother’s grandiose fantasies. Golden children typically must act precisely as the narcissistic mother demands, fulfilling all expectations without questioning, to continue receiving conditional approval and validation.

Those not in the favored position live under the narcissist’s harsh criticism, expected to bolster the mother’s self-image but denied affection or support. These non-golden children are made to feel worthless for failing to meet their mother’s egocentric needs. The narcissistic mother may lash out, punish, or threaten her child when the child voices their opinions or desires and escalate the aggression until she gets what she wants.

Children in both roles suffer deep emotional scars and find their sense of self severely compromised. Neither role allows them to grow and develop naturally or experience a sense of being loved for who they are. In their childhood, their wants and emotions are frequently ignored or undervalued, instilling in them the idea that love is earned by meeting other people’s needs.

What are narcissistic family roles?

The 6 roles in a narcissistic family are scapegoat, golden child, lost child, caretaker, mascot, and enabler.

  1. Scapegoat: This child is often the target of the narcissistic mother’s criticism and rage. They are blamed for many things that go wrong in the family. 
  2. Golden Child: This is the narcissistic mother’s favorite child. This child usually agrees with the narc mother’s negative perception of others and shows loyalty to her. She lavishes this child with praise, attention, and privileges.
  3. Lost Child: This child attempts to avoid conflict, keep a low profile, and stay unnoticed to avoid the narcissist’s rage or manipulation. They are often ignored or neglected by the narcissistic mom.
  4. Caretaker Child: This child takes responsibility for the family early on by providing emotional support to other siblings.
  5. Mascot: This child uses comedy and humor to reduce tension in the family related to the narcissistic mother’s behaviors.

What is a covert narcissist mother?

A covert narcissist mother exhibits narcissistic traits more subtly compared to the overt narcissist. She appears self-sacrificing or victimized, using these behaviors to manipulate and control others. This type of mother is typically passive-aggressive, expresses envy or resentment towards her child, manipulates to control others, and seeks attention and sympathy through understated means.

A need for validation and admiration drives a covert narcissistic mother’s actions but is often masked by a facade of vulnerability or martyrdom, making it challenging to recognize her narcissism.

What are the symptoms of daughters of narcissistic mothers?

Symptoms of daughters of narcissistic mothers include low self-esteem, chronic shame, and negative self-worth. Narcissistic children crave approval and validation from others and have learned to hide their feelings to please others. Indecisiveness, lack of boundaries, self-defeating thoughts, and health issues are common in these children. Some daughters also become co-narcissistic, adapting to the mothers’ narcissism but becoming anxious or depressed.​8​

Guy sitting depressed surrounded by messages and 11 effects of having a narc mom

What are the effects of having a narcissistic mother?

Here are 13 effects of having a narcissistic mother.

Chronic shame

You may suffer from chronic shame. Narcissists project their toxic shame onto others, particularly their children. You were often ridiculed or humiliated for having your own opinions or feelings. The effects of shame can be debilitating and cause issues in your adulthood.


Emotional neglect, inconsistent parenting, conditional love, and harsh criticism can erode your self-esteem and perception of self-worth. Such dynamics significantly increase the risk of developing depression.


You may intensely focus on trying to do everything perfectly and have a deep-seated fear of making mistakes. You have learned that even minor errors, flaws, or needs expose you to your mother’s attacks, rage, manipulation, rejection, or neglect.

Low self-esteem

After being told that you are worthless or useless your whole life, many children of narcissists feel incompetent and have low self-esteem. While you may not be consciously aware of these difficult feelings, they can run in the background and affect your everyday life. 

People pleaser

You are self-sacrificing in your relationships. Children of narcissist-mothers tend to be people-pleasers who don’t have their own opinions, desires, or dreams because they were muted as children to please their mothers. You may strive to please others, even if it hurts you.


You are very critical of yourself. In your childhood, everything you did was wrong or not good enough, according to your narcissistic mother. As an adult, you still have the voice telling you you’re not doing it right.

Struggle with emotional regulation

You have learned not to express your needs and emotions because you repressed them throughout childhood. You also never learned how to control your negative feelings.


As a child, you were always forced to follow your mother’s orders and were not allowed to have an opinion of your own. As a result, even when given the chance in adulthood, you may have difficulty making your own decisions. You are always scared to make the wrong decision.

Lack of trust

When you grow up lacking trust in your caregivers, you may suffer deep emotional wounds that impact your development and ability to form healthy relationships. This ingrained mistrust can extend into adulthood, affecting personal and professional relationships.

Lack of social skills

You probably didn’t have many friends growing up because narcissistic mothers like to isolate their children, so the children have no social support. As a result, you had no opportunity to develop effective social skills.

Lack of boundaries

You were taught as a child to follow instructions and never speak your mind. No opportunity was given to assert your independence or rights. Now, you have no idea how to assert, maintain boundaries, or stand up for yourself.

You are also more prone to having unhealthy patterns of relationships, such as domestic violence.

Meditation and exercise can help lift your mood and strengthen your immune system, which high stress levels have weakened through the years.


Growing up in an environment of persistent criticism, hostility, manipulation, and neglect, you develop a heightened sensitivity to remarks that feel invalidating or attacking. No matter how minor or well-intentioned, you may read criticism into benign comments, over-personalizing and believing at your core something is wrong with you. 

This unconscious survival mechanism leads to significant anxiety, self-blame, burnout, and difficulties trusting your judgment. 

Health issues

A range of health issues can result from chronic stress caused by prolonged exposure to narcissistic abuse. Prolonged activation of the body’s stress response keeps levels of inflammatory hormones like cortisol and adrenaline high, weakening the immune system and increasing inflammation levels. 

As a result, the risk of frequent colds, infections, and other illnesses rises. Autoimmune disorders, digestive issues, chronic pain, skin conditions, and respiratory issues often develop. Sleep quality suffers as well.

The cumulative toll of heightened neurological arousal can also lead to stress-related conditions later in life, like heart disease and chronic fatigue. High blood pressure, ulcers, obesity, and diabetes may manifest from comfort eating to self-soothe amidst the persistent uncertainty and emotional anguish at home.

How to deal with a narcissistic parent

Dealing with a narcissistic parent starts with understanding. Recognizing the root of your suffering, which often lies in the behavior of your narcissistic mother. Accept yourself and remember that the shortcomings of your narcissistic mother are not your responsibility; the core issues originate from her, not from you. Set clear boundaries and focus on using “I” statements rather than “you” to communicate effectively.

Practicing your messages before delivering them can prepare you for interactions and help you avoid getting drawn into unproductive or harmful arguments. Sometimes, maintaining a certain distance is necessary for your mental well-being. 

Connect with friends, family, or support groups that understand and validate your experiences. A therapist can help you deal with the complex dynamics of a relationship with a narcissistic mom. 

Finally, manage your expectations and be kind to yourself. It’s a journey that requires patience, understanding, and self-compassion.

Is a narcissistic mother toxic?

Yes, a narcissistic mother is toxic because she creates an environment of chronic stress for children known as “toxic stress.” Toxic stress and toxic parenting during childhood are linked to long-term health consequences and can constitute an adverse childhood experience leading to childhood trauma.

How does a narcissistic mother ruin your life?

A narcissistic mother can ruin your life by doing the following 7 things.

  1. She is always right: She gets angry and explodes on you if you question her opinions or decisions, no matter how absurd.
  2. She is the only one who can be right: She criticizes, invalidates, and undermines everyone else. Nothing the children do is good enough.
  3. She is the only person who matters: She wants you to praise and admire her, but she never praises or acknowledges your accomplishment.
  4. She is the only one who can decide: She controls her children’s lives. Everyone has to do and like exactly what she tells them to, or she would make them suffer.
  5. Everyone has to fulfill her dream: She lives vicariously through her children and pressures them to fulfill her own needs and dreams without regard to the child’s needs or interests.
  6. She is the only shining star: She wants her children to succeed so she can brag about them, but she doesn’t want them to be too successful and overshadow her.
  7. She doesn’t think you are a person: Your interests, feelings, aspirations, and preferences mean nothing to her.

Can you have PTSD from having a narcissistic mother?

Yes, you can develop complex PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) growing up with a narcissistic mother who is toxic and abusive. This form of PTSD often arises from prolonged exposure to emotional and psychological trauma during childhood.​9​

This continuous exposure to stress can lead to heightened alertness, where the body’s fight-or-flight response is constantly activated even in safe environments, resulting in symptoms such as anxiety, hyper-vigilance, and difficulty in calming down or relaxing. Physical symptoms include headaches, fatigue, and digestive issues.

Why do narcissistic mothers destroy their daughters and sons?

Narcissistic mothers tend to destroy their daughters and sons because of their incessant need for attention and admiration, manifesting in the following 5 ways.

  1. Competition for attention: While a narcissistic mother wants her daughter or son to succeed so she can brag about her parenting skills, she also sees her children as competition for attention. She perceives her children’s accomplishments or beauty as threatening her spotlight. She copes by sabotaging her children’s success to regain status.
  2. Loss of control: Narcissists depend on controlling others to feel strong and superior. As daughters and sons mature and become independent, the mother loses dominance. She tries to destroy them to keep them small and subordinate.
  3. Zero-sum mentality: Narcissists often see life as a zero-sum game, where others’ failures elevate their status. The children’s success can provoke a narcissistic mother’s jealousy and envy, compelling her to cut them down.
  4. Projection of flaws: Narcissistic mothers project their insecurities and negative traits onto their children, treating them with hostility due to this perceived similarity.
  5. Scapegoat: The narcissistic mother needs someone to blame for her failed dreams, unhappiness, and fractured sense of self. Children are the perfect scapegoat for her to release her rage and frustration.

Do narcissistic mothers love their children?

Narcissistic mothers may express love for their children, but their version of love is often conditional and different from healthy parental love. The love of selfish mothers is often self-serving, where the child is loved not for who they are but for what they can do for the mother’s self-esteem or status.

Do narcissistic mothers know what they are doing?

It is commonly believed that narcissistic mothers are self-absorbed and do not know what they are doing or about their narcissism. However, a 2013 study by Erika N. Carlson from the Department of Psychology at Washington University has found that narcissistic people are aware of their personality and its social implications.​10​

The study involved two samples: 86 undergraduates from a private Midwestern university and 234 Amazon Mechanical Turk workers. Participants described their personalities and nominated close others to do the same. The research showed that people with high levels of narcissism know about their traits, like arrogance and showing off. They understand that others see them this way, too. 

Even though they know being narcissistic is toxic and isn’t liked by others, they still value these traits for themselves and want to be more narcissistic.

What is triangulation with a narcissistic mother?

Triangulation with a narcissistic mother is a manipulative tactic where the mother brings a third person into the dynamics of her relationship with her child, pitting her children against each other. She may tell different stories to each child to control the narrative, isolate the child, and create conflict or mistrust between them.

Will a narcissistic father or mother say sorry?

No, a narcissistic father or mother likely won’t say sorry genuinely because she thinks she is always right. When she does apologize, she does it to her benefit rather than out of sincere remorse for their toxic behavior. She may also blame others instead of accepting total responsibility when apologizing.

Why can’t a narcissistic mom say thank you?

A narcissistic mom can’t say thank you because of her entitlement and belief that she deserves exceptional treatment from others at all times. When her children provide care or support, the narcissistic mom views this not as a kind gesture worthy of thanks but simply as the child fulfilling their duty and purpose.

Additionally, narcissistic mothers see their children as extensions of themselves rather than as separate individuals with agency. Through this lens of possession and control, they do not feel inclined to thank their extensions. 

Essentially, the narcissistic mother feels that the child owes their time, care, and attention to the mother unconditionally. Expressing gratitude would suggest the child has a choice in providing support, which contradicts the narcissist’s worldview.

How do you explain to others that you have a narcissistic mother?

It’s best not to try to explain to those who have never had a narcissistic parent. People most likely don’t understand and won’t believe you. Narcissistic mothers can seem nice and perfect from the outside while abusing their children with their toxicity behind closed doors.

Do narcissistic mothers get worse with age?

Yes, narcissistic traits in mothers can get worse with age. Adult children caring for elderly narcissistic mothers can experience stress, frustration, and burnout. Setting clear boundaries and rules from the start and setting expectations can avoid exacerbating the situation.


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